Message.  The mainstay modern-day communication.  Whether this is texting,  WhatsApp-ing, Snapping, or A. N. Other form that I as a Gen X am clueless about (!), those who own a phone will use some form of messaging to communicate with others, either in an individual or group way.

On the face of it, messages are a simple, quick and efficient way of communicating with friends.  However, through my work with young people as a therapist, and as a mum of teenagers, I have witnessed the emotional turmoil that this seemingly harmless mode of communication can evoke.  Being left on ‘delivered’ - or worse still on ‘read’ - leaving group chats with no explanation, private messages outside of the ‘main group’, and belonging to multiple groups all with different members, names and subject matters, are just a few of the numerous message situations that seem to have the potential to result in an environment of miscommunication and misunderstanding and ultimately feelings being hurt.  Navigating the unwritten rules of messaging for young people, who are already struggling with the angst that the teenage years brings, results in a perfect storm unconducive to positive mental health.

It seems to me that there needs to be some redress of messaging and how to ‘do it’ in a way that is a positive rather than negative experience, enabling the modern mode of communication to achieve its original goal – efficient, straightforward communication with another person/people.  I believe  that the key here is to go back to basics, reminding our young people of the cornerstone of positive communication with others - treating others how we would wish to be treated ourselves.  As parents, we hope that our young people will grow to be adults who are compassionate and kind and communicate in a straightforward way.  We need to remind our young people that messaging is simply another way of communicating with others.  To this end I wondered whether the simple guide below might help young people to rethink how they message and hopefully revert to a way of communicating that is more positive, helpful and kind whereby messages are relished and enjoyed, rather than anxiety-inducing, and therefore, dreaded.

How to send and respond to messages in a way that promotes positive mental health